


Great

by droosy



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Bisexual Magnus, Gen, Island boy Merle, Like five paragraphs just about hugging, M/M, Taako vaping, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 06:58:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8240164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/droosy/pseuds/droosy
Summary: Avi works up the nerve to tell Magnus how he feels.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Previously on The Adventure Zone:
> 
> —Hey guys, what’s up?
> 
> —Avi, I’m real fucked up!
> 
> —Oh! Dang.
> 
> —Shhhhhhhhshhh. Shh. Avi. Avi. Avi.
> 
> —Yeah?
> 
> —Avi. ………………………You’re great.
> 
> —Thank you! Yes! Thank you.
> 
> —You’re a cool dude.
> 
> WHAT’S COOLER THAN BEING COOL? ICE COLD! I WANNA SEE YOU ALL ON YOUR BADDEST BEHAVIOR… ON THIS FANFICTION EPISODE OF THE ADVENTURE ZONE!

Avi, the security guard at the Bureau of Balance hangar, is currently on his way to the weight room, and you’re him. You’re Avi, and you’re going to go lift some weights.

 

Coming down the hall, you see your pal Magnus Burnsides. He’s one of the people tasked with retrieving the Grand Relics. Of course, you already know that, because you’re you, which is Avi. You’re Avi still.

 

You give Magnus a casual salute and say, “Hey! Hellhound!”

 

He nods. “Hi, Avi.”

 

You go in for a windmill high-five, like in Fantasy Top Gun, but he misses you on the rebound. You can’t really identify the expression on his face, but if you had to pin it down, you’d say he looks incredibly, incredibly tired.

 

“Uh, Magnus, are you… are you good?”

 

He scratches his beard. “It’s—I’m just going through a lot of stuff right now,” he says. “—That I can’t really talk about.” His voice is strained, like he’s fighting off a cold.

 

“No, OK, that’s—that’s real. That’s fine.” You pause. Magnus isn’t even looking at you. He’s got his head down, and you can see that patchy almost-bald-spot at the top. “Hey, if there’s anything I can do to, um, to help…”

 

“No, no. Don’t worry about me,” he says, straightening up. He puts his hand on your shoulder and smiles weakly. “Just look after yourself, OK?”

 

Now he’s looking at you, and his eyes are bloodshot. He’s still smiling, but he’s also sort of twitching. His eyebrows are doing a new thing.

 

“O—OK.”

 

Magnus squeezes your shoulder a little before letting go. He walks past you down the hall. After a few steps, he stops. “Hey, Avi?”

 

You turn around, and you see Magnus, with that tired, gap-toothed smile, looking at you over his shoulder, and he says: “You’re great.”

 

Magnus walks away.

 


	2. Actually Chapter One

You like Magnus a lot.

Like you, he’s tall and burly, with a few extra pounds around the middle. He has maybe five, ten years on you, and he looks really good despite all the shit he’s probably had to go through. You can’t really picture him as a younger man. He just wouldn’t look right without the worry lines on his forehead or the little crow’s feet that show up when he smiles. He’s also got some scars, but they don’t make him look tough or exotic or anything. They just make him look like Magnus.

His copper hair’s been fading to a dark blond for a while now, and it’s kind of receding, but just a little. And he’s got these eyes, these light blue eyes, that are just _really_ soft. Again, not piercing, not otherworldly, just soft.

You like to call him Hellhound, and he calls you Alfa—that’s “A” in the FNATO phonetic alphabet. Sometimes you’ll address him by his nickname just so you can hear him say your own. It makes you feel kind of like you’re somebody.

You like Magnus a lot, and you want to kiss him, also a lot.

He’s great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference, my Magnus looks like this: https://twitter.com/brentraptor/status/785291171727671299 and my Avi looks like this: https://twitter.com/brentraptor/status/781964192534425600


	3. Taako

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avi consults with the Flip Wizard himself, Taako Taaco.

This is your plan, and it’s a good one: you’re gonna drop by Magnus’ room, and you’re gonna knock on Magnus’ door. You’re gonna say hello, how’s it going Magnus, I know I saw you earlier this week but I just wanted to check in, and you’ll get to hear his voice again. He’s gonna smile and tell you that he’s feeling a lot better now that you’re here, and that’s when you’ll put your face on _his_ face, and really get up _in_ there, and go just wild.

 

But here’s the thing, though: you’re not going to do any of that, because you’re a big, dumb chicken. You’ve come to a dead halt about twenty yards from his room.

 

In front of you is a door with a big construction paper sign that has “COOL BOYZ CLUBHOUSE” written on it in puffy glitter paint. And then you think hey, maybe Taako could give you some good advice. Never too late to start!

 

When you knock, you hear not “Who is it?” or “Come in!” but simply “Whazzup?” shouted through what sounds like a mouthful of snickerdoodles. You open the door and hope for the best.

 

Inside the room it’s kind of dim. There are these glowing glassy spheres that kind of bob up and down in midair, in all different colors, and they’re what’s providing most of the light. The floor is completely covered in dirty laundry and unsheathed daggers. You’d think the fancy dressing table and velvet fainting couch would class up the joint, but they super don’t. And he’s also got a fondue pot in here, for some reason.

 

Anyway, in the middle of all this you see Taako, draped over a beanbag chair like he’s posing for a painting. He’s a pretty fat guy—as in, he’s both pretty and fat—and he’s kind of short for an elf. He’s wearing a big, fluffy pink robe over some truly busted-looking footie pajamas. He’s really pulling it off too, which is the weirdest thing about it.

 

Taako doesn’t bother to get up, but he throws out his arms in delight, exclaiming “Avi!” He takes a puff of his rose gold vape pen and exhales a cloud of smoke—orangey-brown. The smell is hard to place at first, but it’s something you recognize from your childhood in Brandybuck.

 

“…Oh, wow, is that anise?”

 

“God damn! Nicely smelt, my boy!” says Taako.

 

You were right on the money, by the way: Taako is absolutely eating snickerdoodles, and he’s got a plate of them by his elbow. He sees you eyeing them and says, “You can take a few snickos if you want, darling.” You do that.

 

“Now,” he says, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

 

“Oh. Right. Uhh, I wanted to talk to you about something.…” Taako’s attention is flagging. Better cut to the chase. “I—Taako, I have kind of a thing for Magnus.”

 

Taako just kind of stares at you for a moment and then he goes, “Oh, that was the end of the sentence! Huh! OK. I gotta say, not exactly earth-shattering news there, friendo.” He takes another puff. “Listen, I’m stupid as hell, but I do have +3 perception. Gotta try a little harder to surprise the T–double A–K–O.”

 

“…Do you think Magnus knows I’m interested in him?”

 

“Mm, I doubt he would’ve noticed.” Taako says. “That cat’s been kind of distracted lately.”

 

“Yeah,” you say. “…So, um, I guess what I wanted to ask you is: what’s Magnus’ whole Deal? Does he like dudes? Is he down to clown? …Wow! Yikes! I’m sorry I just said ‘down to clown.’ I think I’m nervous?”

 

“…I mean…yeah, he _is_ bi, I believe,” says Taako. “But, uh, that clown college done closed.” He wipes his nose on his robe. “Just sayin’, I don’t think he’s looking for romance right now. And that could change, maybe, in the future, but currently? at the moment? I don’t like your chances, alveoli.”

 

You scratch your forehead. “Well, I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a bummer.” You’re more disappointed than you thought you’d be. Shit, you think, and then say out loud. “Shit.”

 

Taako gets up—the beanbag chair makes that a little difficult—and he walks over to you. The spheres of light seem to follow him, like they’re in his orbit. “Listen. Listen, boychik,” he says. “You’ll be all right. I’m sure there’s plenty of other folks out there who’d love to hop right _on_ that thing.” He gives your arm a pat. “Not me, though. I’m not really feeling this. No offense.”

 

“None taken. I’m not into you in that way.”

 

“OK, OK, OK,” Taako says, in a tone that implies he doesn’t really believe you. “Hey. You wanna chief this e-cig?”

 

You chief it. The taste makes you feel kind of nostalgic, but also like you can’t breathe so good. You’re coughing, you’d say, a fair amount. “OK, just gonna—take that back from you, honey,” Taako mutters. You wheeze and give him a thumbs up.

 

“And really, don’t let this kill you,” says Taako. You’re trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what Taako looks like in my mind: https://twitter.com/brentraptor/status/783841100897419265 https://twitter.com/brentraptor/status/782052778030075904


	4. Merle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avi searches for a pick-me-up. Merle searches for his lost shaker of salt.

OK. OK. Today for sure. Today’s the day you tell Magnus how you feel. You gotta get out in front of this story before Taako blabs to everyone and their mother about what you told him the other day. If Taako is to be believed—which, _is_ he?—Magnus isn’t gonna return your feelings. And that’s fine. It sucks, but it’s fine. You just want him to know.

 

And hey, great news! You get as far as Merle’s room this time. Except that’s _not_ great news. That’s demonstrably bad news, because it means you punked out again. But whatever, Merle’s really cool—maybe he can lift your spirits.

 

You knock on the door. “Who goes there?” says Merle.

 

“Uh, it’s me.”

 

“Well, hi there, Me, come on in!” he replies.

 

Merle’s room is pretty cluttered. You count at least three pairs of Birkenstocks, and about seven loose ones, all lefties. On his shelves are are lot of sand dollars and shells with googly eyes glued onto them, as well as some ships in a bottle that he definitely did _not_ build himself. All his posters and tapestries and mounted singing fish are hung really low to the ground. Merle’s drinking a mai tai and reclining in a hammock, which you guess must be where he sleeps, because you sure as hell don’t see a bed in here.

 

“Oh, it’s you!” he says. “Nice of you to drop by, kiddo.” You realize it’s entirely possible that he’s forgotten your name.

 

“Hey, Merle. Mind if I chill here for a while?”

 

“Sure, man, pop a squat.” He points to his recliner. It’s kind of a 1:2 scale version of Marty Crane’s chair from Fantasy Frasier. You sit in it as best you can. “So!” Merle continues. “Is this gonna be just a cool hang sesh, or are you here to talk about your crush on Magnus?”

 

You drag your hands down your face. “Taako clued you in, huh?”

 

“No, no, no. If you did tell him about it, he probably already forgot,” says Merle. “I just figured, you know. With the way you look at him, and talk to him, and your general way of being around him… All of that.”

 

“Man, I’m… I’m starting to think you all knew about this before _I_ even did.”

 

“Way she goes, bud,” says Merle. “Way she goes.” For a while, all you hear is the ice clinking in his glass. “……So. Magnus, huh?”

 

“Yeah, I—I know it’s never gonna happen between us,” you sigh. “I just think I oughta let him know how I feel. And I know… I know it’s gonna change our friendship, but I don’t wanna be keeping secrets from him.”

 

“Sure, sure, that’s smart.”

 

You’re wearing your civvies, which is just a T-shirt and basketball shorts, so you don’t have any liquor on you. Too bad, because you’re feeling pretty out of it. And you definitely don’t want any of Merle’s mai tai, which is probably like 50% beard hairs by now.

 

You try to recline in your tiny, tiny chair, and you fall flat on your ass. “Oof! Gotta be careful, Aldi!” says Merle. You opt to sit on the floor instead.

 

“And hey, don’t get too down about the Magnus thing,” Merle says. “You’ve got a lot going for you, kid. You’ll find someone else, easy.”

 

“That’s what Taako told me,” you respond. “I mean, he said it way weirder, but that was the gist.” Merle laughs. “But I’ve—I’ve been thinking about it, and I just can’t see myself being with anyone but Magnus. You know? I dunno how I could ever feel the same way about somebody else.”

 

“I know, I know,” says Merle. “You fall in love for the first time, and you think it’s gonna be your last. I get it.” He takes a sip of his drink. “But believe me, there’s a lot of soulmates out there. Don’t trust anybody who says you can only have one.”

 

You think on that for a minute. “…Dang, Merle,” you say. “Dang, you’re kind of wise.”

 

He smiles. “I have my moments.”


	5. Magnus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most of this chapter is just an extremely florid description of two men hugging.

OK, this time, you get way farther than Merle’s room, and you’re proud of yourself for that. Actually, you overshoot, and you have to moonwalk a little to get back to Magnus’ door.

 

He’s installed a wooden door knocker on the front, in the shape of a bear’s head, which you think is a cool touch. After you knock, you hear his heavy footsteps coming toward you, and in your stomach you feel that weird sort of sinking sensation that you get when you’re on an elevator. He opens the door.

 

“Oh, hey. Avi,” he says. He looks like he’s been either sleeping too much or not at all. “What’s, uh, what’s up?”

 

Your voice sounds like chalk on a blackboard. “It—um… Magnus, can I talk to you in private for a second?”

 

Magnus rubs his eyes. “Sure.” He gestures for you to come inside.

 

When you walk into the room, the first thing you notice is his huge bed. It’s practically wider than it is long, and it’s covered in blankets and pelts. He’s got a bunch of posters, all grouped in these dense, sporadic clusters. He’s also got colorful string lights, which you weren’t expecting. The massive pile of stuffed animals is a little less surprising.

 

Magnus shuts the door behind you. “What’s this about, Avi?”

 

“Magnus, I know this might be a bad time, but if I didn’t say something, I’d be a bad friend.”

 

“Uh-huh…”

 

“It—the thing is, Magnus, I really like you. And I’m interested in you, um, romantic-style.” Magnus runs his hand across his mouth. “And I know—” you continue, “I know that probably isn’t something you want? But I felt like I should tell you, because if I can’t tell you this stuff, then, you know, then it’s like we’re not even friends. And I think we _are_ friends, so…… this.”

 

Magnus looks at his feet, and he’s nodding, looking sort of rattled. Then he looks up at you with those soft blue eyes, and you feel something weird. You think it’s acceptance. “Well, thanks for telling me,” he says. “You’re a good friend.”

 

“Thanks,” you mutter. “You too.” You both kind of give each other a pitying smile.

 

You’re about to show yourself out, but Magnus stops you. “Hey. Avi,” he says. “Do you want a hug?”

 

“I—really? That wouldn’t be too weird?”

 

“I'll say this: it would not be my weirdest.” He smiles and extends his arms.

 

You don’t want to come in too hot, but that’s what you end up doing. In fact, you kind of slam into him. You’ve turned hugging into a contact sport, is what you’ve done.

 

Of course, Magnus barely registers it. He wraps his arms around you and rests his cheek on your shoulder (you keep forgetting he’s an inch or two shorter than you—you always picture him as being like seven feet tall). He does this thing where he puts his hands on your back and just scratches you really gently. It tickles a little, but it’s nice.

 

You press your face against his temple, and you’re sort of breathing on his head now, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Man, your lips are like _right_ up on his hair. You want to kiss him so badly, but you can’t, and you don’t. He does kind of smell like an armpit, but also like puppy breath and fresh-cut wood and just a tiny, _tiny_ note of lavender.

 

You know you’re gonna start crying as soon as he lets go. Wait, no you won’t, because you’re already crying. You’re straight up crying into this poor man’s cheek-bristles. And now you’re laughing too, because this is all such a fucking mess. He strokes your hair and goes, _shh shh shh,_ but the air between his front teeth creates kind of a whistling sound, and it’s making it really hard for you to stop laugh-hiccuping. The two of you start swaying back and forth, and Magnus sighs into your clavicle. It makes you shiver.

 

He finally lets you go, but slowly, like you’re some treasured and fragile object he’s trying not to break. Both of you exhale almost simultaneously. His hands are still on your shoulders, and he’s staring into your eyes with sort of a sad expression. He’s looking a little blurry to you because you’ve still got tears in your eyes. He says: “Look, I’m sorry I don’t—I’m sorry I couldn’t—” He shakes his head. “No. You know what, I can’t apologize for what I can’t control. There are some things I just… I’m not able to do for you.” His forehead’s all rumply. “You understand.”

 

“I think so,” you say. Magnus puts one hand on your face, still looking at you with that kind, sad smile. You rub your eyes. “…Is it bad that I wish things were different?”

 

He pats your cheek. “No,” he says. “No, that’s normal.” Your hand gently closes around his wrist. You touch your forehead to his and just try to breathe for a minute.

 

“…Magnus?” you say. He looks at you, wide-eyed and worried. You grin and tell him: “…You’re great.”

 

Magnus bursts into laughter and gives you a friendly shove. For the first time in weeks, you spot those little crinkles at the corners of his eyes.

 

“Thanks, Avi,” says Magnus. He takes a step back, and now he’s only holding onto you by one hand. “…And hey, whenever you feel ready, I’d love to keep on bein’ friends. But I understand if you need time.”

 

You nod and let go of Magnus’ hand. Your throat’s all twisted up like a crazy straw, but you manage to get a couple of words out as you walk away. “Seeya, Hellhound.”

 

“Yeah,” he says, and he sounds hopeful. “Till next time, Alfa.”


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thrilling conclusion!

It’s been almost a week since you told Magnus you loved him. You’re feeling kind of hollow, but not in a bad way. Just in a neutral way. Lawful neutral.

 

It feels like he broke up with you, even though the two of you weren’t together in the first place. But you’re still friends, and you’re starting to feel like that could be enough for you.

 

Anyway, you’re on your way to go deadlift your feelings when you run into Magnus again. You haven’t really talked to him since the whole debacle, so you have no idea how this is gonna play out.

 

Magnus doesn’t say anything. He just gives you a hearty Top Gun high five as he passes by, and, as always, flashes you that over-the-shoulder grin.

 

It’s pretty great.


End file.
